Mother Knows Best......or Does She?

Ok. From first glance, you may think that I have something against my mom. That is not the case. My mom has nothing negative to do with this post....and I am so glad that she does not display the "mother knows best" attitude that so many mothers have.

One of the shows that I like to watch is TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress." This show is about girls going to try to find their wedding dress at Kleinfeld's, the world's larget bridal store. Ever since I was a little girl, I loved thinking about weddings and wedding dresses. When my time came, I had a wonderful experience finding my dress. When I tried on my dress, I knew it was "the one" the moment I put it on. My mom knew, as well. She saw on my face how happy I was in it and knew that it made me feel beautiful. She even said, "That is so you, Lauren." That is what a bride wants to hear from her mother when she is dress shopping. No matter what the mom's style is, the bride is the one that is wearing the dress. I don't even know if my dress was exactly my mom's style, but she knew that it was mine. That meant the world to me. Some girls aren't so lucky.

My heart breaks when I watch girls on this show not have the same experience that my mom and I had. Some of the moms have a definite picture of how they want their girl to look like...and they make it well known. There is one example that I cannot get out of my mind. A mother and daughter go to Kleinfeld's to look for a dress. The mother of the bride is going to be paying for the dress, so she believes that she has a say in what the dress should look like. The mom wants the daughter's dress to have a long, cathedral-length train.....because every real wedding dress must have one. The bride came out in dress after dress that she liked but the mom did not. And why? No long train. The bride finally comes out in a dress that she absolutely loves and is in budget...and she looks beautiful in. The mom is hesitant because the train is not long enough. The bride obviously wants her mom to like the dress, so she comes up with a compromise: a long veil. The mother finally agrees...and then says that she is going to pick the jewelry.

You may think to yourself while reading this "Why do you care? Why should I care?" I believe that this is just a symptom that comes when mothers cannot let go. These women...yes, women...on this show are beginning a new chapter in their lives with their husbands. These moms cannot get over that their daughter is no longer their baby girl. They do not want to let their daughters go. This is not just seen in wedding dress shopping. This happens to girls in every day life. Sadly, this is also the case in Christian women. Christian mothers want to make sure that their daughters are women of faith as they grow up. They want to see the Lord work in their lives. They want to see them grow up, get married, and have children of their own. They want so many good things for their daughters...but they don't want to let them go. While they may not say it, their actions show it.

Mothers who do these things to their daughters do not fully see the sovereignty of the Lord in their daughters lives. When their daughter gets married, she is to be with her husband. While respecting parents does not end when marriage happens, the headship of parents does. The headship of the girl is now her husband, and they become their own family when they "leave and cleave". When the mom interferes with this, she is in a sense saying that being married is not good enough for her daughter. I get so sad when I hear stories of how mothers do not want their girls to leave them when they get married. There is obviously an adjustment that needs to be made when huge change happens, and there are real and good emotions that come from that. However, these emotions should not control the mother, for she will try to control her child.

This is one of many areas why I am so blessed that the Lord allowed me to be Linda Smith's daughter. She loves her "baby girl" and loves to be close to me. She was sad when I went away to college and is sad that she does not see me as often now that I am married. Even so, she does not let this control her. I can remember her telling me when I was a young girl that when the Lord called, I needed to go. It did not matter where, I needed to go. This did not mean that she did not love me, but she loved the Lord more. She trusted that the Lord was the one in control of my life, and she had great peace in that fact.

I want to do the same thing with my daughter(s). I want them to know that following the Lord is greater than staying with your family. I need to be reminded of this fact. I need to hold the ones and things I love loosely, for the Lord can take them away. Trusting in the Lord is the best way...even if it may not be Mom's way.

Finally Done!!

I am finally back on the blog. The past couple of weeks have been busy with the end of the semester. I wanted to make sure that I had everything done before getting distracted by the blog. So here I am :)

I am pleased to say that I AM DONE WITH FINALS!!! I am very much looking forward to next week and to graduating! I have been here at Boyce for 2 years and have spent a total of 3 years in college. I cannot believe that my days as a student are coming to an end. I am very much looking forward to not taking any more tests or writing any more book reviews. Probably what I am looking forward to the most is pleasure reading....reading what I want at my own pace!

In addition to my last weeks of Boyce, Chris has been adjusting to his new job. He just completed his 2 weeks of training on the sales floor with Cellular Sales (a third-party vendor for Verizon) and begins flying solo next week. I am so proud of him. He has been looking for a way to better get him through school and we are so blessed that he is able to do so now. He can go back to being a full-time student, and he will hopefully be done with his Bachelor's in about 3 years. This new job has odd hours and he is probably going to be working a lot the first couple of months, just so he can learn how to sell and what to sell. We are excited to see how this will turn out.

The next week is going to be a busy one. The schedule is as follows:

Monday - Wednesday: Working from 7:45-5:00 each day. In that mix somewhere is preparing dinner, doing laundry, and spending time with the Hubby.

Thursday: Graduation preparation. I will be having a luncheon/run-through mid morning/early afternoon. During that time my parents and grandparents will be coming into town! From 2:30-3:00, we will be at the Mohler's home for a desert with other graduates. We will then probably be doing something that night, though we don't have any plans just yet.

Friday: GRADUATION DAY!!! The doors in Alumni Chapel will open for guests at 9:00 and graduation starts at 10:00. We will probably be going out to lunch after that, then relax and enjoy time with family. The nieces will be in town....and who can't get enough of them! ;)

My time here at Boyce has been such a blessing. When I came up here, I knew that I wanted to be a pastor's wife. I truly believe that it is a calling that the Lord places on certain women, for being a pastor's wife is not a glamorous job. It is amazing to see how the Lord has brought me to where I am today, being married to a man that knows his calling is to pastor. In addition to Chris, I have made such special friends while up here. The girls that I have become close to are so dear to me. We have so much fun together and they are such an encouragement to me.

Because I am graduating in 5 days, I thought it would be fun to look back at my first couple of days here at Boyce.







I hope that this week has been a great one for all of you and that you have seen the Lord's blessings in your life.